1. CNY!!
2. Encounter with Sam Ee
3. Mother's Video interview
4. Julian the aftermath..
5. MCML video
6. Auntie Incident
7. Countdown to Wed (c#)
8. 2 Music Medley
9. Polo shirt
10. Mum's thief, grandma cry outs and falls in toilet
11. Father's debts
12. Mum's Death
13. FYP

As you guys all know, my mother passed away on the 13th Feb. Perhaps it is best to include her at the start as respect. Hmm.. ^^ Nothing much to be said. More importantly, this blog is going to be revived, with some changes! For a start after every post there would be a post from the "Human Revolution" book written by the President of Soka Gakkai. This helps me to read even more. Also i was hoping to do up a music column to consolidate my music so its easier to browse. Deeply appreciative if anyone could offer their IT expertise on this :). Also, my blog will be joinly linked with my mum's blog updated by our comrades in faith. Regarding her history in bits. yep

On my mum's death, the date was strangely..err.. significant? 13th feb 4 or 5 years ago was the day Teck Kiang a senior leader whom my mum and I respect very much paid a visit to my house. As a side note, she battled cancer for 9 coming 10 years. Since the first cancer at the breast, she was strong in faith and knew the significance of transforming one's karma into a mission. A simple explanation for this, karma is the term used in Buddhism (or any other religion for that matter) for causes. Causes meaning anything you think, say or do. In other words, every single moment we are creating karma, be it good or bad. Karma also extends to other lifetimes, a concept only held possible by the phenomenon of "Life after Death", or reincarnation. Always have we heard others mentioning about the misfortune we face in this life is an effect of "karma we incurred from our past life".

That's absolutely true. However, what will you do next is of most vital importance. Do you simply accept the fact and live out your karma? Or do you transform that "misfortune" into an opportunity? One simplest example is that you step on the wave of karma to be stronger. Thus, every misfortune becomes an opportunity to grow and be stronger. Aspiring to be more noble? Transform that karma into a mission! As for my mum, her mission was to inspire millions worldwide of this wonderfully fabulous Nichiren Buddhism! Imagine the thousands of people encouraged over "this women who lived for 9 years after 5 relapses and more than 7 operations and surmounted obstacles after obstacles." She would have brought hope to many to live on! This is the mission I am talking about. Being in a misfortune is a blessing in every way thinkable. This is Buddhahood my friends.

Coming back to Teck Kiang, it is believed that he awakened my mum's true fighting potential. Before that my mum wasnt much that of a fighter who dedicated her life for the encouragement of others. It is also said by many that if we are not finished with whatever we have to do in this lifetime, we wouldnt leave this world. Yea so its something like that.. ^^

lets look at my mum's last words



Yep so that's it about my mum. After her death gotta deal with a lot of things. But some things just happens first. For example, lets talk about how she passed away.. shall we?

It was a morning before the sun risen. Rather, half way risen. my room was lightly illuminated by a glow so bluish that it could onli last 5 min. Any longer, pure sunlight would have taken over. I was woken up by a call so loud and deafening, it cut my sleep by a supposed few hours. The voice over the phone was so familar, it almost meant that something likely had happened. It wasnt likely a good thing, though.

"Where are you? Marcus (mr bro) leh? Daddy home?"

Wth she is talking about? of course they home la. unless it really happened..

Long story short, rush down to marcus to pick him up, went to hospital. But somehow knew that this is the end. There are a million signs that are shown to me through the environment. Heck! She even felt so and tried her best to provide all she can for the past few weeks! Hence my first post, My very first digital piano.. It may seem first that i give up real quick, but trust me for at least 4 years I have been fighting for her. Doing peace activities and taking care of the association, while using prayer to fight for her recovery. Many times we have surmounted relapses, crushing them beneath us. However, I just had the feeling as a son.

9.5 years she fought cancer. Logically it was long enough, miraculously it was long, strictly speaking, she lasted this long undoubtly due to her practice in this buddhism, which made her spirit and will strong because she lived for a mission. I am not starting a debate here however, but we have seen people around the world throughout history who have done miraculous feats by prolonging one's sick life. Some pray earnestly while doing humanitarian work, she was one of them. No one can say for sure how it works, but the fact that she's not the onli one who have been shown actual proof of this practice may seem to make this practice.. more believable i guess. ^^

Anyways, spent a day praying at the hospital, taking care of her oxygen needs. She kept taking her mask off, reason either being uncomfy or she wanted us to pray. At some times when it was too quiet, she would remove her mask to chant two verses of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, spurring us to continue chanting, before putting back on. Some times she was doing victory signs and doing insane shit like manually pulling out the whole damn drip cord, causing rupture in her wrist. The onli reason i can think of is that in the mind of hers "What is this?! I want to get out! I dun wanna be sick!" I can never forget when i brought up the vow we made towards each other "Didnt you say you would be there when I build Min-On? Didn we promise each other?!" Tears well up in her eyes. That was the onli time she cried, hours before she was gone.

Long story short, I felt like staying over that night. Was doing shift duty with my domestic worker. When it was my shift, i was closing my eyes. My job was to just make sure her mask stays intact. Everything was fine 'cept for this pesky mosquito continuously feeding on my thighs. i tried a few times to find it but didnt manage. After some drifts between slumber land and reality, i forced myself awake to kill it. I found it resting on the curtain neat and steady. Being known as a mosquito exterminator, I killed it with no probs. But since i was awake, i was able to see my mum more clearly. The mask was still on, but her body wasnt bobbing up and down.

She clearly had gone...

So happen the nurse was there to check the drip and i ask her to check. They rolled in a big machine i think it was an ECG machine to check her hearat beat. I was out praying all the while. The nurse came out and told me to prepare clothes and IC, stuff like that. I asked her for specific details. She said there is still heartbeat, but so weak that it can be considered gone in medical fields. Heck with medical field as long as religion is concerned! If chanting have proven to be able to bring back the dead whose mission haven been complete, what so is this? I went to chant into her ear, and saw tears flow out. I can feel "beats" from her. So i just prayed like mad. Anyways, My aunt came in and told me some crazy shit like "be realistic" "face reality" bla you know. I am pretty shocked as to what humans can give up when they deem a situation hopeless. Even if its your kin, I mean she's your sis! shouldn you fight all the way till the end? I dun reali blame them, They hardly believe in miracles, nor do they know the power of prayer.

Long story short i was so disappointed in everyone lack of courage to try to save her life, that I just screamed "YOU SIAO AH!" that was some pretty crazy shit to be doing in a hospital. Oh yea it was 1am too. That's how she passed away, with tensions on our family now. Yea.

Here a video of my Merry Chirstmas Mr. Lawrence take 1. It is filmed when i still have crappy equipment. So it SUCKS just to fill in before i come up with take 2. Yep ^^


Lets move on

Basically, C# nothing much, i just passed that module, for more info on the C# saga refer to my previous posts.. dun reali wanna check whether i reali have or not but in a nutshell was on the verge of failing, in fact considered debarred.. but through determination and effort manage to save my ass.. so it shows that if you are willing to learn from mistakes and right a wrong, things will always change, if only your mentality changes!

On my mum's thief and grandma shoutouts, its basically the last days b4 her death when she's facing dementia and will scream there's a thief outside the door suddenly. yea.. on the grandma incident its basically this: my mum has been admitted to hospital many times for her insane multiple relapses. In one of those admission, probably the last one, she exclaimed "Ma! ma!" meaning my grandmother. coz my grandma went before her, and both are practicing nichiren daishonin buddhism.. the last words my grandma left for my mum in english wud be " prayers should be the basis for everything!"

Yea so last but not least, my dad, err.. used to own credit card companies money, even now there are two outstanding amounts to be paid, one of them i will touch on later, and one of them is another company which he have no idea whether the amount is still there or not, based on possibilities of a write-off..

Like every other adult who pays credit card bills , my dad is one of them who has difficulty paying up.. why? he has poor money management skills bundled with a heck care attitude = trouble my mum always advices him on this "spend within your budget" golden rule/rule of thumb whatever.. so yea, my dad has heavy financial karma.. so, that's pretty much it.. he has a bad temper, lost many jobs due to fight with collegues, but he doesnt drink nor comes home whacking us and brawling.. yep ^^ so basically these lost of jobs made him unable to pay his loans, bills etc..

two incident which are mentionable are the baliffs coming over to our house accompanied by a locksmith.. baliffs are court sent debt collectors who do the same jobs as loan sharks, but without the splash and whack. instead they decorate your house with nifty stickers to indicate that the item is under possession by the government. just think of it as item under mortgage. yea.. some items are my piano, warddrobes, tv, computer... yep.. so situation now? fully paid..no amount left.. yep..

the second is a motorcycle incident.. my dad was the guarantor for someone else's bike, so long story short, person ran away and dad have to pay everything.. now seriously what is this bullshit? to assure themselves of their asses, companies demand a guarantor, so someone has to offer his lifeline to the guillotine just in case that "trustworthy" friend of your runs away. Sounds like some neat insider job.. anyways.. the amount is still unpaid. coz my dad feels that he doesnt even need to pay.. apparently the good thing is that THEY FOUND THE FRIGGIN GUY!!! so why are they still coming after my dad.. wait this isnt part of the deal man, do whatever you want with that guy and leave us alone! >< and my dad is too lazy and unbothered to explain things to them.. so what's his reply when they sms him?

"You want you just come, my door is always open for you"

XD

that's it for now and here is the quote of the post!

Hardships make us strong. Problems give birth to wisdom. Sorrows cultivate compassion. Those who have suffered the most will become the happiest.

I know it's hard to fathom, especially the last sentence will have difficulty coming to terms with. But shed some light on the matter and think about it, undoubtly its very true dun you all think? ^^..